All about writing

Memories of Christmases Past

2010-12-18T11:09:00.003+10:00

What are some of your most vivid Christmas memories?

Is there one in particular that has stayed in your memory?

What's your earliest Christmas memory?

Is there one Christmas that is lodged in your little grey cells for all the wrong reasons?

What's your favourite family Christmas memory?

Which Christmas would you prefer to forget?

Do You Save the Best for Last?

2010-11-22T11:01:00.002+10:00

My (ahem) scientific study, for which I'm going to enlist your assistance, dear, gentle reader, involves one of those universal questions that may have great import for the future of civilisation as we know it!

And it's this:

When you sit down to your dinner of meat and three veg, do you eat your favourite food first, or do you save it till last?

I know, I know ... It's quite staggering that no-one up till now has thought to conduct a scientific investigation into this complex question ... But that's why I'm here -- to ask the difficult questions.

The Love of My Life grew up having to eat his vegetables first and saving the meat till last ... but my philosophy had always been to eat what you enjoyed first, because then if you were full, you could leave the things you didn't like as much on your plate.

I remember reading an article once that postulated that many of the eating problems of Westernised children stem from the practice of their parents coaxing them to eat their vegetables before they could have dessert -- the clear implication being that dessert was the reward for tolerating the nasty vegetables. Not terribly sensible when you come to think about it, is it?

Children these days don't know how lucky they are, when you think of all the wonderful vegetables we have to choose from. Not like in the Olden Days when we were limited to potatoes, bitter pumpkins, ditto carrots, vile parsnips, swedes and turnips.

Now there are lots of lovely varieties of these old vegies, plus fresh supplies of things we only ever got in tins when I was a child (mushrooms and asparagus spring to mind) and then all the salad vegetables and sprouts and ...

So here's your chance to set the record straight ... Add your comment below so we can find out once and for all: Do you save the best for last?

600 and Counting!

2010-05-25T09:28:00.000+10:00

This is issue number 600 of our little newsletter. Yes, that's a six followed by two (count 'em) zeros.

I'm very grateful for your patience with me and my ramblings over the years, and for the many comments and suggestions I've received (all of which I could pass on in mixed company!)

If you'd like to suggest a topic for a future newsletter or just leave a comment you can do so on our much-neglected Blog below ...

What's in a Name?

2010-01-15T11:56:00.003+10:00

A couple of observations about people and their names ...

I happened to be flipping through one of those ubiquitous women's magazines while waiting for some person or other to deign to serve me, when I happened upon yet another article about Our Nic and Our Keith and their little girl, Sunday Rose, and it got me thinking about the days of the week as names, and why some days are popular and others don't rate a mention.

F'r instance, we have the aforementioned Sunday Rose Urban; those of us who can remember the 60s will recall Tuesday Weld; those who landed on Earth a little later will be familiar with Wednesday from the Addams Family (so named because she was "full of woe" as is Wednesday's child). Then we all know Robinson Crusoe's mate, Man Friday, but have you ever come across a person or character called Saturday or Thursday, and if not, why not?

And we come across a similar mystery regarding the months -- April, May and June are all popular girls' names; we can stretch it a bit and say that July (Julie) is a common name, as is Auguste (for a boy), but where are the Februaries, the Septembers and the Decembers?

Hmmm?

And that brings us to 7, one of our Merry Band, whose legal name is the numeral 7 (not the word "Seven").

Do you have an unusual name?

Have you given your children unusual names?

Do you know anyone who has a name best forgotten?

Click the Comments button to tell your tale!

Foreign Words We Could Use in English

2010-01-09T09:56:00.003+10:00

Then there are those words we don't have in English, that do exist in other languages, Nick Skellon wrote, "On an added note, I'm always amused by the way the Germans have words we don't have. My favourite in the whole world is 'backpfeifengesicht,' which means 'a face that deserves a slap'.

"Another is 'handscuhschneeballwerfer', which is a long (and typically German - why use one syllable when you can use six?) way of saying 'wimp'. It literally means 'someone who wears gloves when throwing snowballs.' I read a magazine article ages ago in which it said that they have about half a dozen other long-winded ways of referring to different levels of wimpiness (including 'someone who indicates whilst turning in a car park') but I can't remember any of them."

I wasn't able to confirm that the utterly divine 'handscuhschneeballwerfer' actually exists, but oh, I hope it does!

I'd expect nothing less from our wonderful German cousins who brought us the too, too perfect word 'schadenfreude,' which means taking delight in the misfortune of others.

If you have any words like this from another language (not just German) that we really could use in English, please click the Comment button and add them to our vocabulary.

Missing words in English

2010-01-09T09:49:00.001+10:00

What a nightmare it must be for teachers these days when they're trying to teach correct spelling to children busily sending profound messages to each other, such as: cu b4 u ce me

Sigh ...

And some of this shorthand is just plain silly.

I can see the point (sort of) for the abbreviations above: 'cu b4 u c me' is marginally quicker than typing 'see you before you see me,' and it is possible to work out the meaning from the phonetics. But other text abbreviations are mind-blowingly useless.

F'r instance, IANADBIPOOTV is short for I Am Not A Doctor But I Play One On TV.

Granted, it's definitely shorter ... but exactly why do we need a shorthand expression for that?

Despite having hundreds of TMTs (text message thingies) we don't yet have a word for them. Maybe I've just coined a new acronym!

We seem to be coming across quite a few gaps in English these days. After writing about this a couple of weeks ago http://www.write101.com/W.Tips579.htm , member of our Merry Band, Nick Skellon, commented, "Firstly, how are we supposed to describe our children when they've grown up? When people ask me if I have any children and I reply 'yes'' they somehow imagine them to be 12 or 14. When I tell them that they're 24 and 26, they're surprised. So how about a word for 'grown-up kids'?

"Secondly, we really need a word for something in between 'like' and 'love'. If you say you like someone it puts them on a par with your mates and your favourite dessert. But love is just too over-the-top to be used in anything but very special circumstances. How do you say you really like someone?

So? Does anyone have any suggestions for these missing words?
We're looking for three words here:

1.a word for TMTs

2. a word for grown-up children

3. a word that's between 'like' and 'love'

And a couple we've been pondering for some time:

4. a collective word for aunts and uncles (we have mother, father, parent, but not aunt, uncle ... ?)

5. a separate word for our female cousins and our male cousins (fuzzins and muzzins is taking longer to catch on than I imagined!)

6. a word for our Significant Other when not married and in Our Prime. 'Girlfriend' and 'boyfriend' simply doesn't cut the mustard when describing someone who's a grandparent, while 'lover' is just too much information!

Click the Comment button to add your suggestions!

Poor Humpty Dumpty!

2009-10-30T11:16:00.000+10:00

I suppose it was reminiscing about children's stories last week ( http://www.write101.com/W.Tips569.htm ) that has kept my little grey cells attuned to the subject, so it was only to be expected that I pricked up my shell-pink ears last week when I heard an item on the news about Humpty Dumpty. (And really, how often does Humpty Dumpty make the headlines?)

Now, if you haven't kept up with the latest happenings in the life of this adventurer eggstraordinaire, may I be the first to break the happy news to you?

It seems, dear reader, that the old dare-devil of our acquaintance has taken on the characteristics of a super-hero and can no longer be harmed. Some boffins at the BBC, in their politically-correct wisdom, have decreed that it's upsetting for the kiddies to sing about Humpty having a great fall, and even more distressing to discover that "all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty together again."

So ... the new version of the rhyme concludes that "...all the king's horses and all the king's men now make Humpty happy again."

Now is it only me, or do you also find that wrong on so many levels?

Let us count the ways ...

1. The rhyme has been around since 1810; are we to conclude from this that we can now change the endings of any story we don't like? (Well, I think Heathcliff and Catherine should have lived happily ever after together, so let's rewrite Wuthering Heights to have a happy ending.)

2. We (and countless millions of other children) were brought up singing happily about a large ambulatory egg that fell off a wall and was smashed to bits, and we all turned out all right.

3. Even the youngest children up till now have managed to successfully separate reality from fiction in the case of Humpty Dumpty (unless they live with some very odd-looking people, in which case they need all the help they can get).

4. And just how exactly, I ask myself, are all the king's horses and all the king's men going to make Humpty happy again? Hmmm?

5. Could this be a royalist plot to make us believe all our problems can be solved by HRH and his merry men?

In their defence, the news report concluded, "A BBC spokesman said the changes were made for creative reasons. 'We play nursery rhymes with their original lyrics all the time and the small change to Humpty Dumpty was done for no other reason than being creative and entertaining,' he said.

"It is not the first time the BBC has tweaked a popular nursery rhyme to ensure a more sanitised ending.

"A recent CBeebies cookery show changed Little Miss Muffet so the little girl no longer runs away from the spider but instead becomes friends with the eight-legged creature."

Right ...

A "tweak" he calls it. I rather think that changing the fate of the character from annihilation to living happily ever after with the help of a bunch of horses and humans is far from tweaking. And what lessons does that teach the littlies? That it's all right to climb tall walls and fall off, because when you do, there'll be someone to make you "happy again."

At least our version of the rhyme had an object lesson -- if you don't listen to your mum when she tells you to stay off the wall, you'll end up scrambled like poor Humpty Dumpty!

Social Etiquette ...

2008-11-25T10:28:00.002+10:00

All of us need an appreciation of etiquette ... not the sort of etiquette that demands you know which of 53 pieces of cutlery to use, but the etiquette that governs and guides the way we all get along in our everyday activities.

Alas and alack, there seems to be a significant lack of skills in this area today.

Here are a couple of my personal peeves with my fellows ... I'm sure you have many you can add. Feel free to click the Comments button and vent your spleen about the poor manners we all encounter every day!

What gets up my nose ...

1. People who come to a dead stop in the middle of busy walkways while they search in their pockets for money, keys, whatever ...

2. People who stand two abreast on escalators when there are busy people who want to walk up and get where they need to be instead of regarding it as an amusement ride ...

3. People who get their meals at a table when dining with a group and then start to eat instead of waiting till everyone has a meal ...

OK ... your turn!

What's that Smell?

2008-11-18T09:50:00.002+10:00

Smells are very evocative ... most periods in your life can be recreated instantly when you smell something associated with the time. It's odd, because you do get an instant replay of the atmosphere ... the feelings ... the ambience.

It's hard to know what word best describes what happens, but you're hit with a rush of memories that are often so vivid, you feel as if the occasion only just occurred.

I'm sure you can do a better job of explaining the evocative power of smells ... Add your tuppence worth now. Click on the Comments button to add your memories evoked by smells ...

Buzzwords!

2008-10-20T12:11:00.003+10:00

You know, sometimes, the bottom line is that we just have to get proactive and change our mindset ... think outside the box a bit more, fly the new ideas up the flagpole to create a new paradigm ...

What's that?

You've no idea what I'm rabbiting on about?

Then you, dear reader, haven't kept up with your Buzzwords, have you?

Here's a t'riffic little game you can play at your next staff meeting, in-service, seminar ... or whatever they're calling them these days. It's been around a while, and maybe you need to update some of the words to suit your own Field of Expertise. It's called, rather tellingly, Wank Words Bingo, and it's for all those people who are not necessarily bankers but ... http://www.write101.com/W.Tips279.htm

We all have our own set of most loved (or most hated) buzzwords. Those we use every day or those that make our teeth hurt every time we hear them.

Add yours now. Just click on the Comment link.

Your Life on a Milk Carton!

2007-12-03T10:27:00.000+10:00

As we sat breaking our fast one morning last week, the Love of My Life and I let our collective gazes rest momentarily on the milk container sitting prettily on the bench between us ... No, before you ask, it wasn't a dainty, antique glass jug, nor even a quirky, countrified pottery jug, it was more in the nature of a ... ummm ... plastic bottle. Well, who has room in the fridge at this festive time of year for a milk jug as well as the original container?

So there we were, perusing the label when the LoML commented that we should do the same ...

Sorry?

Write a list of ingredients?

Design a logo?

"No," said he. "We should try to write a milk-carton bio!"

For, while I'd been gazing restfully at the back of the carton, he'd been looking at the side view, and the milk we buy (from the sole remaining all-Australian-owned company) currently has 75-word bios of farmers who (we're led to believe) spend their entire lives rearing cute cows to provide milk just for us.

So, your mission today, Boys and Girls, is to come up with a 75-word bio of your time here on planet Earth.

Here are some tips on streamlining your words.

Click to Add a Comment ...

You Can Bank On It!

2007-02-22T11:34:00.000+10:00

Am I the only one who can remember the days when governments existed to provide services for the public? When doctors made house calls? And when banks prided themselves on serving their customers?

I'm not?

You can?

Then prepare to weep, boys and girls, because I have a tale to unfold ...

It started when I made my weekly trip to our friendly local financial institution. "Bank" is far too simple a term to encompass the many functions of this business. While standing in the queue, I did a quick check around all the posters and noticed that not only was I able to deposit my hard-won earnings here for safe-keeping, I could also insure my home (and contents) against anything the Universe cared to toss our way (excluding flood, fire, theft ... these are all optional extras).

Then I could take out loans for everything from a personal holiday to a takeover of a small country.

I could get a credit card, a debit card and an EFTPOS card ...

I could do a spot of hedging my foreign exchange thingummies ...

For crying out loud, I discovered I could even have a private bank! But only if I qualified ... Sadly, only eligible customers can aspire to this lofty dream. All I need to do to meet their eligibility criteria is to "hold or have the potential to hold account funds in the region of $750,000 by way of credit funds, debit funds or a combination of both."

Hmmm ... deficient in the dollar department to the tune of several hundred thousand ... But there's always next year!

After passing a pleasant few minutes in my reveries, I finally made it to the counter, where I engaged in friendly repartee with the teller regarding the Mysterious Case of the Vanishing Cheque.

This sad and sorry saga began back in August when I deposited a cheque from a source that has been sending me cheques for many years. A few days later, I received a letter from my bank that set in motion what was to become an epic of biblical proportions. It involved individuals from two continents. It utilised communications by email, by fax, by phone and carrier pigeon! And it nearly broke the spirit of many a good man ... but not this little black duck!

My cheque, you see, was missing the BSB codes, those magical numbers along the bottom, which meant that the Banking Universal Management sector responsible for sorting and forwarding cheques for payment, wasn't able to process my poor little orphan. I was informed, on one of the many occasions I enquired politely about the current state of play, that if cheques lacked their bottom codes, they would be spat out of the machine.

"And?" I asked.

But received only a deafening silence in reply, for it seems, dear reader, that that is that.

Now my question, and it's a curly one I admit, but I'll pose it to you, is this: in the 21st century, when banks are making billions of dollars a year in profits, is it too much to ask that they supply a book of BSB codes and a ballpoint pen to the person sitting watching the cheques that are spat out of the processor? Could they then also, and I know that it's a bit of a stretch, but could they then require that said person look up the BSB code in said book, then pick up said pen and write the bloody number on the cheque?

Sigh ...

After finally getting the bank to admit they'd lost my cheque, I was asked to get a replacement one issued by the paying bank. (Banks, it seems, don't communicate with each other.) This I did, and the bank most generously offered to pay the cost to replace the Vanishing Cheque.

The cost was the grand sum of US$25, which amounted to $31.54 in Aussie dollars. (Remember that number, it's crucial to our tale.)

A few days after depositing the replacement cheque, I had a phone call from my bank telling me they'd also deposited the $31.54 fee.

"Woohoo!" I said, "and the $10 fee you removed from my account at the beginning of the saga?"

"Sorry, no," I was told by the bank, which had just posted a half-yearly profit increase of 25% and had pocketed a measly $85 million.

Coincidence? I'll let you be the judge of that.

So I put the experience behind me until the monthly statement arrived. Glancing quickly at my balance I was astounded. A quick check of the figures showed a deposit not of the expected $31.54, but a rather more generous $3,154.00.

"How kind, " I thought. "They're compensating me for six months of angst."

Huh!

Another trip to the bank, and I was face-to-happy-face with the person who'd been helping me all these months. I quietly slid the bank statement across the counter to him, pointed to the entry and watched for his reaction.

It was almost worth all the hassles!

Sigh ... (again)

Even though I'm now $3,154.00 poorer, I did get paid the original $31.54 ... eventually. And when I notified the bank's customer complaints officer ... er ... sorry, I mean the Customer Relations Consultant about the latest snafu, I also got the $10 fee refunded. This person had been on the receiving end of some of my scintillating repartee over the past months as we investigated what I always referred to in correspondence as the Mysterious Case of the Vanishing Cheque, so I felt we knew each other well enough to let her in on the finale.

But wait! There's more ...

The bank, mindful of its hefty profit (yes, I must confess I did remind them of it in one of my many missives), did actually also send me a gift voucher to spend in a store near me. Or maybe it was my new best friend, the CRC, thanking me for the six months of entertainment at the office water cooler viz: "You'll never believe what's happened now!"

Who said banks have no heart?

Just in case you haven't come across the word "snafu" before and think I made it up, I want you to know it's a real word. Well, as real as any word that started life as an acronym can be.

This amazingly useful word originated during World War II. It can be used as a noun, an adjective or even a verb, (I told you it was useful), and it means:

–noun
1.
a badly confused or ridiculously muddled situation.

–adjective
2.
in disorder; out of control; chaotic.

–verb (used with object)
3.
to throw into disorder; muddle.

It started life a little less politely when US soldiers came up with it as a way of "conveying the common soldier's laconic acceptance of the disorder of war and the ineptitude of his superiors, which seldom fails to delight." (dictionary.com)

The words abbreviated were: Situation Normal All Fouled Up (or words to that effect).

After reading this entry in The Write Way, Terry Lavelle wrote, "It (snafu) has a sibling you may be aware of – or interested to know about – or not.

"The word is “fubar”, and it means "’Fouled’ (to use your own euphemism) Up Beyond All Recognition”. I wonder how many more interesting words these military chaps have coined – and if any of them don’t have the letter F somewhere in them."

If you're a military type and do know of any more such words, I'd love to hear about them!

Confused?

2005-10-07T08:19:00.000+10:00

I can remember being very confused in my first year Latin class, when our teacher kept talking about Caesar, "razing a Gallic tribe's town to the ground."

"Silly woman," I thought, "you can't 'raise' something to the ground!"

But of course, you can certainly "raze" it.

I think it's part of the quirky charm of English that we have two words that sound the same but mean exactly the opposite, don't you?

Raze means 'to tear down so as to make flat with the ground,' and it comes from the Latin radere, rasus (to scrape, shave) which is related to another Latin word rodere (to gnaw) from which we get our loveable rodent!

Raise, on the other hand, means 'to move to a higher position; elevate; to increase in intensity, degree, strength, or pitch' (among many other meanings). It comes not from Latin, but from the Old Norse word reisa (to raise).

Good news!

2005-09-16T10:18:00.000+10:00

I just discovered that Write101 has been named one of the 101 Best Websites for Writers for 2005!

Woohoo!

Writer's Digest chooses 101 sites every year, and has done so since the turn of the century (the 20th century that is) ... and since WD has been knocking around, helping writers, since 1920, I think that means they're good judges of what writers are looking for ...

That news made my day, and I hope it makes you feel happy to be associated with a quality site, too :)

The Surgeon

2005-08-29T14:05:00.000+10:00

We recently spent a couple of weeks driving down to Melbourne to visit our daughter, and while we were away, we also caught up with friends we've known for over 30 years. (I've introduced you to these friends before: http://www.write101.com/W.Tips180.htm )

Talk ranged far and wide, as it does when you have a long history with people, but as we were leaving, my friend lent me a copy of a book she'd just finished, and what a great read it is! It tells the story of how the Oxford English Dictionary was compiled ... Now, don't be like that ... This really is a fascinating tale!

It was in 1857 that the Philological Society met in London and proposed to compile a New English Dictionary, but it wasn't until 1928 (70 years later!) that the 12 volumes of the dictionary were published. And when you consider what was involved, it's amazing they got it done as quickly as this!

Just think for a minute how difficult it is to define a word.

Funnily enough, it's relatively easy to define the hard words, and for some odd reason, the longer the word, the easier it is to define e.g. if I ask you what 'multitudinous' means, you could quickly rattle of an acceptable definition such as, 'it means too numerous to be counted; lots and lots of something,' and you'd be right.

Easy peasy.

But what if I ask you to define 'take.'

Have a look at the quick definitions at onelook: http://www.onelook.com/?w=take&ls=a
See the problem editor, James Murray, and his team had with the OED? Now imagine having to come up with definitions for over half a million words as they did!

Previous dictionaries had concentrated on hard words, but Murray wanted to 'fix' the language as it was used, so they decided to include all words. (By 'fix' they meant 'set it in time,' not 'mend.')

The other aspect involved in compiling this particular dictionary, and one that made it unique and contributed to the time it took to complete, was that it insisted on "gathering quotations from the published or otherwise recorded use of English, and employing them to illustrate the sense of every single word in the language ... Quotations could show exactly how a word has been employed over the centuries, how it has undergone subtle changes of shades of meaning, or spelling, or pronunciation, and, perhaps most important of all, how and more exactly when each word was slipped into the language in the first place." (The Surgeon of Crowthorne or http://www.write101.com/goodbooks.htm )

Just mull on that for a moment and consider the implications ... gathering quotations (Murray decided on a minimum of six for every word; more for words with many meanings) for every word in the language at the time.

Obviously this was not something a few mates could do over a beer in the back shed, so the Philological Society advertised throughout the realm for volunteers who would read the suggested books and compile lists of quotations for every word. And this is where the story gets interesting because one who answered the call was Dr W. C. Minor, the surgeon of Crowthorne.
Minor was an American Army surgeon who'd spent time patching up soldiers in the American Civil War, suffered a serious mental disorder, murdered a man in Lambeth Marsh while staying in England, and who worked on the dictionary while an inmate at Broadmoor Asylum in the village of Crowthorne.

Told you it was fascinating, didn't I?

I won't spoil the rest of the story for you, you'll just have to read it yourself, but this week's quiz has some interesting words from the book ... see how well you do!

If you want to see the current OED, here it is: http://www.oed.com/ or buy your very own copy here or here: http://www.write101.com/goodbooks.htm

The Most Beautiful Word in English

2005-06-22T14:40:00.000+10:00

Asphodel

This is "any of various chiefly Mediterranean plants of the genera Asphodeline and Asphodelus having linear leaves and racemes of white or pink or yellow flowers" and Wilfred Funk listed it as the most beautiful word in the English language. (Yes, that Wilfred Funk of Funk and Wagnall's fame).

The others he fancied are as follows: fawn, dawn, chalice, anemone, tranquil, hush, golden, halcyon, camellia, bobolink, thrush, chimes, murmuring, lullaby, luminous, damask, cerulean, melody, marigold, jonquil, oriole, tendril, myrrh, mignonette, gossamer, alysseum, mist, oleander, amaryllis, rosemary

Lots of flowers in there, but not the one I happen to think is lovely, and that's carnation.

I've always liked the word as well as the flower and the smell! There's something wonderful about the spicy scent of old-fashioned carnations, don't you think?

What's your favourite word ... and why?

A Pun! A Pun? My Kingdom for a Pun!

2005-04-19T09:48:00.000+10:00

We all love puns ... those wonderfully witty plays on words.

So let's see how active your little grey cells are at the moment ... I've posted a list of homonyms from Alan Cooper's wonderful list below and your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to come up with some puns using some or all of the words listed.

Easy peasy!

The prize is a copy of my modestly named quiz book: A Word for Everything. This is a collection of quizzes gleaned from my newsletters from the past 6 years.

To enter, just click the Add Comment link, enter your pun (don't forget your name and country).

IMPORTANT: make sure when setting up your account with blogger that you allow me to email you.

The List ... use some or all of these in your pun:

brewed - fermented
brood - family

carat - unit of weight for precious stones, equal to 200 milligrams
caret - proofreader's insertion mark
carrot - edible orange root
karat - one 24th part of otherwise pure gold

cereal - grains
serial - numbers in sequence

dual - two things
duel - a fight between two over honor

elicit -to draw out
illicit - unlawful

ewes - more than one female sheep
use - to apply
yews - more than one yew tree

might - possible
mite - tiny creature

place - a location
plaice - a flounder

taper - edge-shaped
tapir - hoglike, Malaysian mammal

verses - paragraphs
versus - against

whirred - made a whizzing or buzzing sound
word - a speech sound

(Homonyms and definitions from: http://www.cooper.com/alan/homonym_list.html)

OK ... off you go ...

The Most Ridiculous Word

2005-01-20T10:27:00.000+10:00

English has an estimated 1 million words, so it's no surprise that some of them would have to be a bit on the ridiculous side, is it?

What's the most ridiculous word you know?

Susan Letham posed this interesting question in an article called, "Wordwork: The Perfect Choice." (Susan is a British writer and creative writing tutor. Her site is: http://www.Inspired2Write.com )

So ... what's the most ridiculous word you know? Here are a couple of contenders from my list of favourites:

absquatulate - run away; usually includes taking something or somebody along (onelook.com)

footle - act foolishly, as by talking nonsense (onelook.com)

mammothrept - a child brought up by its grandmother; a spoiled child (onelook.com)

Add yours by clicking on the Comments below. The words must be "real" words, found in "real" dictionaries ... not just in lists of made-up words!

Feel free to add any interesting information about the origins of your word. (See my posting on Tragedy for an example of weird origins!)

The Never-Ending Story ...

2005-01-18T10:37:00.000+10:00

The Never-Ending Story has grown too large and now has its very own blog!

Go here to read the latest instalment and to add your own:
http://write101-never-ending-story.blogspot.com/

NB All comments from the original have been transferred over!

How to Create a Hero ... The Lone Ranger!

2005-01-18T09:12:00.000+10:00

"A fiery horse with the speed of light, a cloud of dust, and a hearty Hi-Yo, Silver! The Lone Ranger! With his faithful Indian companion, Tonto, the daring and resourceful masked rider of the plains led the fight for law and order in the early West. Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear... The Lone Ranger rides again!"

It was on the 30 January 1933 that the Lone Ranger first rode across our imaginations on his white horse, Silver, inviting listeners to return to those thrilling days of yesteryear.

What is it about these serial heroes, the Lone Ranger, the Green Hornet, Superman, Spiderman, the Phantom?

Why do we remember them?

Because they're larger than life and they provide an escape from the routine of everyday life.
Because they do and say things we'd all like to do and say - if only ...
Because they remind us of times when we had fewer worries and responsibilities in our lives.

The sound of the theme music can take you back to days when you'd rush inside from playing out the back with all your friends and huddle around the radio with your family to find out how your hero was going to extricate himself from the predicament of the previous episode.

It's ironic that the Lone Ranger, the hero who's still so fondly remembered by millions around the world as an idealist - fighting to rid the West of outlaws - was created as a carefully calculated way to save an ailing radio station and make money.

A Hero is Created

According to 'Who Was That Masked Man? The Story of the Lone Ranger' by David Rothel (1981), George W. Trendle had acquired radio station WXYZ in Detroit in 1929. This was at the start of the Great Depression, when the economy was nose-diving, so Trendle had to think of a way of keeping his station afloat.

The following information is taken from an article by J.Brian III that appeared in The Saturday Evening Post on October 14, 1939:

"Trendle came up with the basic idea for a Western with a hero who embodied the qualities of Zorro and Robin Hood. He settled on a drama as the format, but what kind of drama --for adults or kids? He opted for kids, because they're less critical, and therefore the program need not be so expensive or elaborate. Besides, Trendle believed that most parents buy advertised products because their kids coax them into it.What kind of kid drama? Trendle knew that kids' favourites were crime stories and Westerns. He decided against crime because he wanted his program to be completely wholesome and he also wanted a program that had the potential to create advertising revenue from future sponsors. A crime program was limited to masks, badges and weapons, but a Western opened the field of costume and saddlery as well.The next question was the time frame for the series. It couldn't be a contemporary drama, because the script writer would be cramped by having to stay within the realms of probability, so he decided to set the Ranger's adventures somewhere between 1865 and 1890. "

The Lone Ranger Emerges

Drama requires a hero. What kind would this one be? Young or mature? Trendle wanted a mature hero, because he believed it was better to respect than to envy.Finally, how to distinguish him from a thousand other Western heroes?

He had a vague idea of what he wanted in his hero, picturing him as a composite of Robin Hood and Zorro, but the picture was little more than an outline, when he discussed it with his studio staff, in December, 1932.

Their first objection was that the hero had no mystery and little romance. Why not make him a sort of benevolent outlaw and give him a mask?

Fine!

Then it was suggested that he needed something distinctive as an identification. How bout a super-horse, possibly a white Arabian?

The Arabian was rejected on the grounds that it was too small, but the idea of the white horse became part of the Lone Ranger's image. Trendle also liked the idea of the white horse because he knew it would remind children of the kids' superstition of licking your thumb and stamping the palm of your hand whenever you saw a white horse.

Staff at the radio station then sat down and made up the Lore of the Lone Ranger:

the mask
the white horse
the signature line "Hi-yo, Silver, away!"
the silver bullets
the Lone Ranger's faithful companion, Tonto
the expression "Kemo Sabe"

Fran Striker

Fran Striker was the writer responsible for developing the story lines and he thought he remembered that Robin Hood had silver tipped arrows, so he introduced the idea of the silver bullet and then built the mystique around the colour silver.

It was also Striker who wrote the Lone Ranger's Creed - the words that formed the basis of the Masked man's appeal. Who doesn't want to be like the Lone Ranger - having the power to make the world a better place; believing in the value of friendship and that "truth alone, lives on forever"?

Striker had to guard against anachronisms for instance, when blasting came into the plot of one of his earlier stories he had to refer to blasting powder, not dynamite.

Read more about Fran Striker here.

First Episode

The first episode went to air on 30 January 1933 and quickly became popular, being taken up by stations around the country.

Initially the show was heard over WXYZ, and later, on the Michigan Regional Network. By the mid-1930s, the show was also running on Chicago's WGN and New York's WOR. That trio of stations (WOR-WGN-WXYZ) became the Mutual Broadcasting Network. Soon after, the Lone Ranger series was picked up by the Don Lee Network in California.

Sound Effects

One of the best features of the show was the sound effects. To represent galloping horses, the men stamped ordinary bathroom plungers into a trough of sand or gravel, according to the terrain. Every studio has had trouble imitating a gunshot; even a cap pistol would almost break the microphone. WXYZ's solution was so good that NBC sent an expert out to investigate it: They smacked a leather cushion with a cane.

Publicity Machine

The Lone Ranger Safety Club was not only an ingenious piece of promotion but also a handy index to the popularity of the program. One evening in October, 1935, the Ranger told the children to go to their neighborhood grocer to get an application card for the club. The card read:
I solemnly promise:

(1) Not to cross any street except at regular crossings and to first look both ways.
(2) Not to play in the streets.
(3) To always tell the truth.

There were ten such promises in all. When the child and one of its parents had signed the card, the Ranger sent a notification of membership and a private code. Almost as an afterthought, he added this bait:

"P.S.: Of course you will want a Lone Ranger Badge. To earn this beautiful badge, all you have to do is have three of your neighbors who do not now use (.....) regularly promise to buy (.....) on their next trip to the food store. I am enclosing a card which I want you to return to me when it is filled out."

By December seventh, six weeks after the campaign had started, 475,574 badges had been distributed; by early January, 535,495. The total in 1939 was more than 2,000,000. In addition, half a million masks were given away and 2,000,000 "photographs" of the Ranger (these were photographs of an idealised oil painting).

Much of the Ranger's mail was from children angrily declaring that a certain member was not eating the sponsor's bread or had revealed the code (read A for B, B for C, and so on). One frantic father had to wire WFIL for the code. His son had sent him an important letter--so important that he did not dare trust it to the mails uncoded.

Spin-Offs

A series of short films were then made (starting production in 1937) and were shown at the Saturday matinees throughout the US and overseas.

A television series and then spin-off cartoons and comic books followed, meaning that the Lone Ranger became accessible to generations of people around the world. Children tuned in to the Lone Ranger with their parents and then with their own grandchildren - such was the popularity of the character.

Just think about the marketing research that must go into modern products when there's so much more money at stake these days!

Punctuation? Why Bother?

2005-01-18T09:00:00.000+10:00

Yes, I know it's not one of the most exciting parts of language, but it IS important. It's another one of those basics that can make all the difference to your writing. Everyone knows that the competition on the Web is fierce - you have to do everything you can to make your site the best it can be and that includes paying attention to the little things - like punctuation.

Look at the following sentences:

Don't stop.
Don't, stop.

The first is a request to continue with the action; the second is the exact opposite - it's saying that the action should cease. (Cast your mind back to a couple of real-life situations you've experienced and just think of the ramifications of leaving out that little punctuation mark!)

Commas are used to indicate a short pause - they alert the reader to the fact that the next thought will be connected to the one that has preceded it. (A full stop tells the reader that a new thought is about to start.)

Some writers adopt the "when in doubt, leave it out" approach, but, as we've already seen in the example above, the placement of a comma can radically alter the meaning of a sentence:

He was kicked by a mule which annoyed him. (The mule annoyed him.)
He was kicked by a mule, which annoyed him. (Being kicked annoyed him.)

Sometimes, omitting a comma can lead to ridiculous meanings:

While mother was cooking the baby wandered away.

Often, commas have to be used to avoid ambiguity in sentences:

You don't really like it; you're only pretending to please me.
You don't really like it; you're only pretending, to please me.

These sentences have two quite different meanings - as a result of the placement of the comma. (This is one of the really annoying things about built-in grammar programs, they can't respond to subtleties of meaning - my page is littered with wiggly green lines at the moment!)

There are pages of rules that govern the use of commas, but the best rule is to read the sentence - aloud - and notice where you would pause to convey the intended meaning. If it's a short pause (and the idea is all part of a single thought), whack in a comma. If it's a longer pause (but still part of the same thought), use a semi-colon. If it's the end of a completed thought - use a full stop. Now what could be easier?

You can have writing tips delivered to you every Friday morning just by subscribing to The Write Way newsletter: mailto:WritingTips-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

Bread and Boats

2005-01-13T08:20:00.000+10:00

About 10 years ago, my mother bought us a bread-making machine, and I have to say it's just the best thing since ... well, sliced bread!

When you make your own bread, you always know exactly what's in it ... I buy stone-ground organic flour and then toss in any interesting seeds and bits and pieces I happen to have around. I usually add some of the carrot pulp from our morning vegetable juice and always a little maize to make the crust crunchy. That's all bread is really, just flour and water, a spoonful of oil (cold-pressed, virgin olive, of course), a pinch of salt and a spoonful of sweetener (I use honey or golden syrup instead of white sugar) ... Oh and one more thing ... yeast!

I've been making bread for 30+ years; originally the old-fashioned way where you wrapped the dough in a clean towel and put it somewhere warm to rise, then punched it down and let it rise again etc etc, and more recently, I've made it the much quicker way in the machine. So you'd think I'd know what I was doing by now, wouldn't you?

Mmmm.

A week or so before Christmas, I weighed out all the ingredients for my bread, tossed in eye of newt and toe of frog, switched on the machine and trotted off to my office to start work. One of the things I love about making bread is the smell ... you just can't beat that wonderful, fresh bread aroma wafting through the place. (Whenever we're selling a house, I always make sure I'm baking bread when we have inspections ... It's much more effective than coffee perking on the stove!)

So, this particular day, I was tapping away at the keyboard, on a roll (if you'll pardon the pun) when the bread machine beeped to announce it was finished. As I walked into the kitchen I wondered why I couldn't smell the bread and thought sadly that perhaps I was just accustomed to it after all this time.

I then got out my cooling rack, my oven mitts and opened the lid to reveal ...

Squinting, I peered in ... Where was my beautiful, crusty loaf that usually spills out over the top of the tin?

A closer inspection disclosed a sorry little lump huddled at the bottom of the baking tin ... and skulking behind the kitchen scales (that I'd left out for some other cooking I was planning to do later in the day) was the packet of yeast!

After a great deal of coaxing, the embarrassed agglomeration of flour and water finally emerged from the tin to land with a thud on the bench, where it sat while I pondered whether or not to try slicing it and passing it off as a quaint bread recipe I'd found on the Internet or consign it to the compost heap.

The moral of the story, boys and girls? Bread without yeast is just hard glue!

That day, I suggested we treat ourselves to lunch at the beach rather than the fresh-bread sandwiches to be eaten on the deck as I'd originally promised, so we bought fish and chips at sat by the water admiring a red, green and yellow boat bobbing on the bay.

How many boats did we see, I hear you ask?

Hard to tell from that description, isn't it? That's because you use articles (a, an, the) to indicate that nouns or adjectives are to be taken separately.

e.g. ...admiring a red, a green and a yellow boat (this indicates that there were three separate boats, all of different colours)

OR

... admiring a red, green and yellow boat (indicates that the boat was multi-coloured)

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If Only ...

2005-01-07T10:49:00.000+10:00

My husband has just spent a week visiting his mother and sister who live (as I've mentioned before http://www.write101.com/W.Tips214.htm ) in an area on the NSW south coast that's been dubbed the Sapphire Coast. His sister has a magic home complete with its own little chapel. It's built right in the middle of the bush, and her neighbours are wallabies, wombats and hundreds of birds ... it's one of those places you feel good just thinking about. (You can see a couple of recent snaps here: http://www.write101.com/hols.htm )

He was telling me about one of the wall hangings his sister has in her (ecumenical) chapel ... and when we looked for it this morning on the Internet, my old mate google delivered as usual. Here it is:

The Indian Ten Commandments

Treat the Earth and all that dwell therein with respect
Remain close to the Great Spirit
Show great respect for your fellow beings
Work together for the benefit of all Mankind
Give assistance and kindness wherever needed
Do what you know to be right
Look after the well-being of Mind and Body
Dedicate a share of your efforts to the greater Good
Be truthful and honest at all times
Take full responsibility for your actions
(http://www.sapphyr.net/natam/indian.htm)

Wouldn't the world be a happier and better place if we all practised these commandments?

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What a Tragedy!

2005-01-02T10:48:00.000+10:00

A "tragedy," Boys and Girls, is a play (usually in three acts) where the main character comes to grief because of a fatal flaw in his (or her) personality. It's also used to refer to any disaster that ends in loss of life ...

Mind you, a quick check in my trusty Webster's reveals some fascinating details about the origin of this word. It comes from two Greek words, tragos - a he-goat and oide - a song ... or a ... "a goat singer!" See the connection now?

No?

Me neither ... let's have another look ...

Hmmm ... it seems that once upon a time, whenever these old tragedies were performed (the plays that always ended in tears and sent the audience away thanking their lucky stars they hadn't fallen in love with their mothers etc), it was the custom to sacrifice a goat and sing a bit of a song before the play got under way - hence the term "part that comes after the goat-singer" or "tragedy."

Another guess ... er ...theory is that goats were often offered as prizes for these performances (whether for the playwright or actors my source doesn't say) ... hence the term "goat-actors" or "tragedy!"

Don't fancy that one either? OK, how about theory number three:

Because these plays dealt with characters who were brought to ruin and suffered extreme sorrow as a consequence of their own tragic flaws, moral weaknesses or inability to cope with unfavourable circumstances, and because these were performed live, without the aid of the instant replay, they had to show how down and out on their luck they were, so they dressed in goat-skins ... hence the term "daggy, you-got-everything-you-deserved you, you, nasty person dressed in a goatskin you" or, "tragedy."

I kid you not (pregnant pause inserted while you marvel at the pun ...)

Visit the Archives of The Write Way newsletter for more fascinating insights into the English language ... http://www.write101.com/archives/index.htm

THAT Week ...

2005-01-02T10:46:00.000+10:00

It's difficult to be flippant after a week that's seen such numbing loss of life. It's a bit like that early Star Wars movie, when a whole planet is destroyed by the baddies, and Obi-Wan (or one of the characters) physically feels the sudden reduction in the Life Force of the Universe ... It affects us all.

There are three things that have struck me about this whole, dreadful time ...

The first is that the tsunami didn't take any notice of how much money its victims had or what religion they believed in or their age or their sex or their colour or whether they were good or bad. If they were in the wrong spot at the wrong time, then that was all it took.

The second thing that this catastrophe has illustrated is the way people rally around to help each other. Admittedly, some of the governments have been a tad slow to get organised, but the 'real' people everywhere have risen to the challenge, as they ... we ... always do. No-one stopped to ask who you'd voted for in the last election before they pulled you from the swirling waters ... the hand was just there for anyone who needed it.

It makes you proud to call yourself a carbon-based biped, and I think this willingness to drop everything and help out is one of our most endearing qualities, don't you?

As I watched all the news footage, lines from a poem kept floating through my mind, and I found it this morning, after a search on my mate google. Here's the part I kept remembering:

The glories of our blood and state
Are shadows, not substantial things;
There is no armour against Fate;
Death lays his icy hand on kings:
Sceptre and crown
Must tumble down,
And in the dust be equal made
With the poor crooked scythe and spade.

It's by a C17th poet, James Shirley, and it's called fittingly Death the Leveller. You can read the rest of the poem here: http://www.photoaspects.com/chesil/death/index.html#shirley

Not sure I entirely agree with the last stanza; it's a smidge too sentimental for little old cynical me ...

The third and final thing that the tsunami has left me with is a tendency to look over my shoulder whenever I'm walking along the water's edge. I can't help but put myself in the place of all those people who were going about their daily activities when their entire world was quite literally turned upside down ...

As I've walked and swum this past week, I've looked across at Moreton Island (quite high, but completely made of sand) and after seeing what happened in the Indian Ocean, my previous belief that it would dissipate any unwelcome waves no longer offers any comfort.

But you can't live your life looking over your shoulder, can you? So we look for the positive in such disasters and see people reaching out from every country to help when help is needed. And that, boys and girls, is what being a human is all about ...

The Rule of Three

2004-12-07T11:20:00.001+10:00

"Third time lucky!" we all say.

"Bad news comes in threes."

"I'm going to count to three!" we tell our kids.

Just what is it about the number three?

We have the Holy Trinity, the Three Musketeers, a ménage à trois ...

The three witches in Macbeth, the Three Little Pigs, the Three Bears ...

Spells and incantations from all religions use the magic number of three ... and so it goes on ...

It's a number that crops up all the time in everyday speech. Listen closely the next time a friend or associate is ticking off options, it will nearly always be along the lines of, "... first, there's A, secondly there's B and thirdly, there's C ..." or "I can give you three good reasons why we should X ..."

(Even the ellipse ... the dots used to indicate a pause ... is a series of three dots, no more and no less!)

Writers throughout history have recognised the power of the number three:

Julius Caesar's most remembered line would have to be Veni, vidi, vici! (I came, I saw, I conquered!)

Benjamin Disraeli bemoaned the existence of "three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics!"

And civic-minded people dreamed up the classic road-safety campaign: "Stop, look and listen!"

So, if the number three IS such a powerful force, can it be harnessed to improve your bottom line?

Yes.

If you're writing for business, you should always use bulleted lists to make your key points stand out in your advertising, so organise your material into threes:

give your buyers three reasons to buy your product
suggest three benefits
offer three different ways to purchase your product

And finish with three testimonials from satisfied customers.

No doubt about it, the number three packs a punch! So, brush up your writing skills and then start writing: http://www.write101.com/writing.html

Ready. Set. Go!

Enough "Stuff!"

2004-12-07T10:42:00.000+10:00

Did you know that the English language has an estimated vocabulary of 800,000 words? (Words R. McRoberts) We have words to describe every object, movement, feeling and thought on the planet; we can pinpoint each little nuance of meaning, simply by choosing the right word for the right spot.

Language isn't something that remains static - it's a living thing that grows and changes to meet our needs. We create new words to describe and explain new objects and concepts - just consider the number of words that have come into the language as a result of technological developments over the past decade. Words like Internet and fax are common-place now; we all recognise the abbreviation WWW and children around the world know what Pokemon means.

Shakespeare, who was one of our most prolific and enduring writers, used approximately 22,000 different words in his published works. Well-educated people today use about 5,000 different words when speaking and about 10,000 in their writing. Most of us have a 'working vocabulary' of 2,000 (which means that there are over 788, 000 words that are gathering dust on the shelves of our minds). Of those 2,000 words, the most commonly used are: the, of, and, to, a, in, that, is, I, it.

Those ten little words (and I do mean little), account for 25% of all speech.

There are fifty words, which make up 60% of everything we say - and only two of these have more than one syllable ... which brings us to ... "stuff."

Why oh why (oh WHY) do otherwise professional sites use this term? Surely with 800,000+ words to choose from, it's possible to find a term to describe more specifically what is being offered.

The experts are always advising web owners to offer visitors something for free - and rightly so - this is a unique medium of communication. It's fast, widely accessible and almost ridiculously inexpensive when you consider the technology involved - so it should be used for the free exchange of ideas and information wherever possible.

If you visit ten websites at random, you'll find more than half will have a link to "Free Stuff," and regardless of the nature of the site, the link will read "Free Stuff."

Looking for graphics? Click on "Free Stuff."

Looking for information on black holes or quantum physics? "Free Stuff' will take you to it.

Need a dietary plan for diabetics? Try clicking on "Free Stuff."

Aargh!

Enough "stuff!"

"Stuff" indicates a lazy mind - one that can't be bothered spending a second or two scouring the memory banks for a precise term. Think for a moment about what you're offering for free - then use those words to describe this on your link.

Your visitors will appreciate knowing that they can find:

a trial program
a sample sales letter
a series of articles on how to do whatever it is you do so well
graphics
a mousepad
a video
a diet
links to related sites
a template for a web page design
a report on how to be a squillionaire

or whatever it is you're giving them.

Don't make them guess.

So dust off the cobwebs and start using a few more words - your visitors will appreciate your thoughtfulness.

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When to Add -ible and When to Add -able

2004-12-06T14:48:00.000+10:00

Here's a tricky question for you:

Why do some words add the suffix -ible and others -able?

Why indeed.

A good rule of thumb is that if the root word is a complete word, you add -able
e.g. accept - acceptable; laugh - laughable; suit - suitable and so on.

If the word ends in y, change it to i e.g. justify - justifiable, and if it ends in e, you usually (but not always) drop the e.
e.g. believe - believable.

But ... if the consonant preceding that vowel is a g or a c, you keep the e. If you don't, the consonant would become hard, and the word would sound odd.
e.g. notice - noticeable; knowledge - knowledgeable.

And, if removing the e would change the pronunciation of the preceding vowel then you leave the e.
e.g. like (long i) - likeable; sale (long a) - saleable.

If the root is an incomplete word, you add -ible
e.g. vis- visible; tang- tangible; cred - credible.

Remember this by the two i's: Incomplete -ible.

That's a pretty easy way to work it out, don't you think? You'll find more helpful writing tips at www.write101.com

Some Points of Style from www.write101.com

2004-12-06T14:22:00.000+10:00

When you're writing for general consumption, you need to follow certain conventions of style.
Print out these tips and keep them handy as a ready reference!

These have evolved over the years as the most effective / efficient ways to convey ideas to a mass readership, so who are we to buck the system?

You'll often find that there are 'in-house' variations on these, so follow the lead of your own organisation / community.

NB Organisation is a perfect example - US-based spelling prefers organization, but in Australia, Britain and other places, it's organisation.

The important point with style is to be consistent. If you use organisation on your first page, then that's how it must be spelt (or spelled ...) on every page.

If you use the -ed form of the past tense for verbs like spelled (rather than the -t), then use it for all similar verbs throughout your document (learned / learnt; burned / burnt etc).

The whole point of writing something is to communicate your ideas to others. If readers are constantly distracted by your devil-may-care approach to the rules of consistency, they'll be so busy watching for the next example, they won't pay any attention to your message or content.

NUMBERS

The general rule is to write the word for numbers under (and including) one hundred, and to use numeral for numbers over:

Ten green bottles; seventy-six trombones; 500 miles; 1,500 people (or 1 500)

When the number is greater than 999, you can use a comma or a space (be consistent and follow 'house rules').

If the number opens the sentence, write the words:

Four thousand tickets were sold, of which 3 000 were pre-booked.

When using approximations and round figures, write the word:

about forty thousand horsemen; nearly ten million sheep

When referring to millions (and these days) billions, use the numerals to indicate the number of millions / billions:

$238 million; 3 billion potential customers

When referring to spans of numbers, use as few numerals as possible:

pp. 350-5; 626-48;

except for numbers between 10 and 19:

10-15; 12-19

and dates:

1630-1698; 1985-2000

When decimal numbers are less than unity, place a zero before the decimal point (except in cases such as calibre):

0.25 (not .25); but .303 calibre

Use numerals for sums of money, times, weights, measures, degrees of inclination and temperature, percentages and a person's age (sometimes):

$5.50; 48c; 11.30a.m.; 15 tonnes; an angle of 45 degrees; 50 per cent (or 50%); a woman aged 90; he lived to the age of ninety

If writing about military forces use abbreviated ordinal numbers for units and formations up to divisions:

the 2nd battalion; the 6th Division

Use roman numerals to designate corps:

the X Corps

Use full ordinal numbers (and capital letters) for armies:

the Eighth Army

Roman numerals are upper case if they're used in titles:

George V; Henry IV

but are lower case when used for preliminary pages in books:

pp. iii-xx

DATES

The preference is for a format that leaves no possibility for ambiguity:

1 January 2000 (This requires no punctuation and is clear.) However, 2/11/2004 could be 2 November or 11 February!)

Years and spans of years are as follows:

A.D. 1066; 44 B.C.; 1855-59 (not 1855-9); the 1960s (NO apostrophe)

CAPITALS

All proper nouns take a capital letter:

people - Garth Hopper; Grandmother (but not her grandmother)

places - Australia; Sydney Harbour

days of the week - Monday; Friday

months - April; August

But NOT the seasons - spring; winter

important holidays / festivals - Christmas; Easter; Passover; Ramadan

groups - Labor Party; Wilderness Society

languages and nationalities - Swahili; Cantonese cooking; Persian cat;

religious deities - God; Buddha; Allah; Yahweh; Zeus

the World Wide Web; WWW; the Internet

Points of the compass take capitals when they're part of the name of an area or when they refer to a part of a country:

South Pole; East Malvern; We're moving to the West

Abbreviations use capitals:

MCG - Melbourne Cricket Ground; B.Sc. - Bachelor of Science

Titles of books, films, plays, television shows etc use capitals for all words except articles and conjunctions (unless the first word of the title) and are also italicised or put in quotation marks:

The Day of the Triffids: Star Wars; One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest; This Day Tonight

HYPHENS

Numbers are hyphenated when used to denote age:

twenty-five year old man

Compound terms in titles take a capital for the first word but lower case for the second word IF it's a modifier:

Hands-on Learning Program

Both words have capitals if they are of equal weight:

English-Speaking Facilitators

You'll find lots more tips at my site www.write101.com

Tips for Writing a Short Story

2004-12-06T12:30:00.000+10:00

Writing a short story can be a very satisfying experience for you and for your reader ... provided you follow a few simple steps ...

STRUCTURE

Novice writers are often given this advice on how to structure their short stories:

Put a man up a tree
Throw stones at him
Get him down

When you come to think of it, it's good advice for any writer.

Start with a situation - a problem to be resolved for your protagonist ( the man up the tree).

Then present the problems that can occur (throw some stones):
Misunderstandings / mistaken identity / lost opportunities etc.

The final step is to show how you can solve the problem - get the man down from his leafy perch - safely.

Love triumphs / good conquers evil / honesty is the best policy / united we stand ...

When you've finished writing, always (always) proof-read your work to check your spelling, punctuation and grammar. Don't spoil all your hard work by presenting an unprofessional image to your readers.

Put this simple plan into action with your next piece of writing.

THEME

Every piece of writing must have a theme. This theme is the skeleton or framework on which you hang your plot, characters, setting etc.

As you write, make sure that every word is related to this theme.

FOCUS

The best stories are the ones that follow a narrow subject line. Decide what the point of your story is and even though it's tempting to digress, you must stick to the point otherwise you end up with either a novel beginning or a mish-mash of ideas that add up to nothing.

TIME SPAN

An effective short story covers a very short time span. It may be one single event that proves pivotal in the life of the character or a single day. That event must illustrate the theme.

CHARACTERS

Around three main characters is all a short story can effectively deal with because of the theme.

Never underestimate the power of dialogue in conveying character, but it must contribute to the main focus of the story - don't just use it to pad out your characters.

PLOT

Begin with an arresting first paragraph or lead, enough to grab the readers and make them curious to know what happens next.

Make sure your plot works - there must be a beginning, a middle and an end but don't spend too much time on the build-up, so that the climax or denouement (as in the twist ending) is relegated to one sentence, leaving the reader bothered and bemused but sadly not bewitched.

And don't signal the twist ending too soon - try to keep the reader guessing until the last moment.

If you're telling a fast-moving story, say crime, then keep your paragraphs and sentences short. It's a trick that sets the pace and adds to the atmosphere you are conveying to the reader.

PROOF READ

Readers are easily put off by bad formatting, bad punctuation or spelling mistakes. Don't distract them from your story - always proof read and then proof read again.

Try these tips in your next short story!

The Bold and the Beautiful ...

2004-12-06T12:24:00.000+10:00

Umm ... I have a very embarrassing confession to make ... I watch B. & B. No, it's not some kinky activity that involves chains and leather ... it's much worse.

It's a soapie!

There. I've said it and I feel better for it.

What's that? You're not familiar with the tangled web that binds the folks who inhabit the rarified world of the Bold and the Beautiful? But you'd love to find out? Then I'm just the person you need.

Now I have to tell you at the outset that I just sort of fell into the habit of watching; it wasn't a conscious choice on my part. Out here in Australia, the show comes on at 4.30 each weekday afternoon and that's about the same time I'm in the kitchen, pottering around deciding what to cook for dinner. So what could be more natural than to switch on the telly for a bit of company?

And what magnificent companions there are in B. & B.The scriptwriters (and I use the term loosely) must be the world's only living brain donors because they come up with some doosies in the plot. Allow me to illustrate ...

Among the central characters are square-jawed Ridge and his on-again, off-again wife Brooke. A few short weeks ago, Ridge and Brooke married (for the second or third time ... I've lost count ... there's nothing this show loves more than a wedding).

You see, Ridge was deficient in the wife department to the tune of one following the death of his former wife, Taylor. We know she died because we saw her expire in his arms and collapse in an attractive heap on the hospital floor after she'd been shot by Mad Sheila. (However, that doesn't necessarily mean that she's really dead ... we may well see Taylor back in the full bloom of health sometime soon. Stay tuned.)

So there they were on their honeymoon on an exotic island, having left their assorted children back home with those obliging nannies. It's important that you know a little about the children for what happens later, so let me introduce you to them.

Brooke has two adult children, Bridget and Eric, from her marriage to Ridge's father. Did I forget to mention that as well as having been married a couple of times to Ridge, she's also been married to his father (or at least to the man who thought he was Ridge's father ... more on that another time) and to his brother? I did? Well, now you know.

She also has a baby girl, the daughter she had with Deacon, her daughter's husband. (What can I say? Brooke is just one of those gals who likes to keep it all in the family!)

Then there are Ridge's three kids that he had with dead wife Taylor. There's a young son, who seems to occasionally complain about homework so we know he's school-age, but he's still very much of the age where he jumps up and down and claps his hands with glee when his Aunt Bridget offers to read him and his younger, twin sisters, a bedtime story. And there are the twins.

So, all the above were at home when the lovebirds celebrated their nuptials, and all went well until Ridge was kidnapped by Mad Sheila. (Remember her? She'd been caught and put in prison after shooting Taylor but had managed to escape with the help of her prison warden. And here she is wreaking havoc - again.)

Ridge's recently discovered half-brother, Nick (I didn't tell you about him, did I? Oh well, you'll just have to trust me on this ... we'll talk about him another day), had come to rescue him, but had been captured, too. In the scuffle that ensued during their rescue, Ridge fell into a fiery furnace.

Aah!

And we saw him fall, as did Brooke, who was devastated. So devastated that the next night she was back at the aforementioned fiery furnace (which, by the way, was still burning brightly). Nick also happened by at the same time and prevented her (just in the nick of time, you could say) from throwing herself into the furnace after her husband.

What is a girl to do? After some heavy sighing and close-ups, she chose to throw herself into Nick's arms instead, since he was there and he had all the qualities Brooke admires and needs in a man (viz. he was there).

They consoled each other in the only way the good folks at B. & B. know, and before you could say "there's a baby growing inside her," there was a baby growing inside her. But whose was it

Poor Brooke! She's just witnessed the rather grisly death of the love of her life ... or has she? No, dear reader, she hasn't - because Ridge survived! Hooray! He was rescued by a sultry damsel who just happened to be passing by and to know that there was, in fact, a back door to the fiery furnace.

Phew! What a lucky break!

Not only did he survive, but so, too, did his jet black locks ... There was not so much as a seared eyebrow to show for his brush with death. Phew again!

OK, are you still with me? Good, because we're getting close to the reason I started all this (fool that I am!)

The story so far: Ridge is back, Brooke has a bun in the oven and the kids are as we left them - little kids.Then, Brooke confesses to Ridge; they opt for a DNA test to determine paternity and discover that the sprog is Nick's; Ridge is distraught and takes it out on Nick; Brooke decides to do the honourable thing (that's your cue to fall about laughing) and leaves.

We see nothing more of her for several episodes, but know that Ridge is concerned because he still loves her and he really, really wanted her to stay despite the fact that the baby-growing-inside-her wasn't his.

Now, and this is the important part, we hear that Brooke hasn't yet had the baby, so we'd be forgiven for assuming that only a few months at most have passed, but what's this? We're back at Ridge's house. (Remember his little kids - knee-high to grasshoppers all three?) Well, hang on to your socks, boys and girls, have I got a surprise for you!

Scene 1: Ridge calls up the stairs to Thomas (his little boy) and a voice over announces that the part of Thomas is now being played by another actor. The door to the bedroom opens and out onto the landing steps a teenager who's as tall as Ridge!

Hello? Casting?

The Kid then attempts to seduce Dad's old childhood chum who was attempting to seduce him because his mother had ... Oh, you don't really want to know all that, do you?

Sheesh!Golly, do they think we're a few sandwiches short of a picnic?

Maybe, but I'll still be dashing out from the kitchen again next week, just to see if the writers can top this one!

How to Write a Soapie

2004-12-06T12:20:00.000+10:00

A Soapie is just like every other genre of writing - it has its conventions and key elements. A sonnet must have fourteen lines; a Shakespearean drama must have an exposition, a climax and denouement; a Three Act play must have ... well, three acts.

Here's a list of Must Haves if you're planning to write a Soapie:

Number 1

A square-jawed hero - it's absolutely essential that you make it crystal clear in your directions that the actor playing the hero must be able to show the whole gamut of emotions from A to B ( ... sorry, I pinched that line!)

He must be able to look:

a) sexy - this is done by half-closing the eyes and parting the lips
b) anguished - this is done by furrowing the brow
c) puzzled - (this is where you really test the acting abilities of your hero) - the eyes must be half-closed AND the brow must be furrowed (phew ... challenging stuff).

For academy-standard actors, those who know that less is more and that subtlety rules, learning how to twitch that little muscle that runs down the side of the jaw is well worth the effort. Then, as a writer, you simply have to give your directions thus:

Hero (hearing that lover is leaving): You're leaving? Now? (twitches muscle in jaw)

Hero (receiving news that child he thought was his is really his father's): Not mine? (twitch)

Hero (watching plane bearing his wife, mother, new lover and father off to Paris for the weekend): (twitch twitch)

Number 2

Forget the nuclear family with its 2.2 children - family relationships must be as tangled and convoluted as is humanly possible. Allow me to illustrate: Mum and Dad have two grown-up sons; Dad trades Mum in on a younger, spiffier model and has two children with her. Mum hates new wife and vows to bring ruin down upon her pretty, blonde head.

New wife ditches Dad and takes up with son number one (her step-son as it happens ...) Just before the wedding, new wife is in a plane crash and is rescued by ... wait for it ... a billionaire sultan who decides to keep her for his harem.

Hero, being a tad thick, continues to plan the wedding, apparently not realising that a wife is somewhat de rigueur for such events. When the hour of the nuptials arrives, hero decides to cut his losses and marry nearest available female who has been consoling him through recent episodes.

Wedded bliss must then be interrupted by the unexpected return of spiffy blonde. Unperturbed by the fact that she's ditched Dad and missed out on son number one, Spiffy sets her sights on a hat trick and seduces son number two.

Mum, meanwhile, has hatched a plot, with number one son's second-choice wife, to finally rid themselves of Spiffy. Plot must backfire and son number one must ditch second-choice wife and marry Spiffy.

Now toss in a disputed paternity for one of Spiffy and Dad's children - could it be that son number one is the father? (While Spiffy was married to Dad, she was already making it a family affair.)

Number 3

Any baby of disputed parentage must have a birthmark.

This birthmark has only ever been seen by the natural mother, the adopting mother and the nurse who was present at the birth but who has since left the country for an exotic location.
The baby, naturally, has been secretly adopted by a key member of the family who must be kept on tenterhooks in case someone discovers that the baby isn't really hers.

Number 4

Despite the advances made in telecommunications, and the various devices used by characters in every episode - mobile phones, telephones, hands-free phones, lap-top computers etc - it's imperative that every vital phone call goes unanswered. In fact the only person who ever hears the phone ringing on these occasions is the camera-man, and he knows exactly where the ringing is coming from.

Number 5

It goes without saying that every character must be either a Mover or a Shaker. Normal human beings do not a Soapie make.

The medical profession is always a good choice - plenty of opportunities for your hero to look anguished and puzzled here - and there's nothing like a white uniform to get the pulses racing. The Law too allows you scope for intrigue and passion. But the hands-down winning field has to be Fashion - no other background gives you quite the same scope to deck out the heroines in flash frocks or to liven up the settings with foreign locations.

Number 6

One or more medical emergencies are required, preferably occurring at a crucial point in the plot - before a court case, prior to an important meeting, when a birth is imminent. Don't feel at all inhibited here - who knows what advances medical science is going to make? Be in the vanguard of modern technology and technique.

It's quite permissible for your hero or heroine to die at the end of one episode and then to miraculously come back to life in the next (see "advances in medical science" above). In Soapies, unlike real life, death is not always permanent.

Number 7

On the subject of medical emergencies ... don't overlook the dramatic potential of amnesia. It's an undisputed law that a hit on the head will cause amnesia and a similar hit on the head (after a suitable passage of time) will cure it. The amnesia is of a special kind, it never causes the victim to forget how she did her hair or how she applied her make up, only who she is.

Number 8

Some criminal activity is, of course, essential. A stalker is good - giving ample opportunities for your heroine to be seen walking around in a flimsy negligee; a hunky cat burglar adds a little spice if he's hurt while getting away and forced to take off his shirt while the heroine (still wearing that flimsy negligee) dabs cotton wool soaked in that lotion that causes grown men to grimace, on his brow.

Best of all, however, is a kidnapping. And best of all kidnappings are the ones that nap kids! For the ultimate plot twist, have the kidnapper take the child of disputed parentage (come on now ... keep up ... remember the birthmark?) If the kidnapper happens to have connections to the nurse (remember her?) and the billionaire sultan (you must remember him) and be doing all this because ... but I don't want to give you too many ideas ...

Number 9

All your characters will be self-educated - they must be, because none of them ever goes to school, not even the little children. This is just as well, since it provides excellent training for their later lives when none of them ever actually works. They'll all spend a great deal of time organising meetings and conferences and flying around the world, but no-one ever really does anything.

Number 10

All your characters must have a fondness for talking to themselves, expressing all their innermost thoughts, deepest desires and dastardly plots - but only when the one person in the whole world they don't want to hear them is standing outside the half-opened door or under the half-opened window.

Good luck!

In the beginning ...

2004-12-04T09:22:00.000+10:00

Tapping away at a keyboard is what fills my day. It wasn't always this way. For twenty years I was a High School English teacher - the change really started one day during my long service leave ...

I was sitting in the dentist's chair having root canal treatment and it occurred to me that at this time I would normally be teaching my year nine class (15 year olds). When I realised that I'd rather be sitting where I was than in front of a class, I knew it was time to look for something new!

After leaving teaching, I spent six months doing all the things that teachers dream of doing when they're busy preparing lessons and marking assignments:

I read best-sellers instead of The Classics

I finished a crocheted bedspread that I'd started when my daughter went to preschool (and I was going to have all that spare time...) She was 18 when I finished it (!!)

I cross-stitched bookmarks for every member of my family and for any visitors who were unlucky enough to arrive when I'd completed another creation. Then I started on wall hangings for every room in my house.

I patch-worked enough quilts to keep a family of Eskimos snug

I rearranged furniture and gardened and made the entire family fleecy track suits

And then I had nothing to do...

In desperation, I turned back to my teaching notes - thinking I'd just go through them and toss out all but the really interesting ones.

It was while I was doing this, that I realised what a resource I'd accumulated over twenty years; so I decided to put them to use again.

My first inclination was to set up a coaching college for after school and holiday times, but I reasoned that it was limited by the physical space available and by the number of students who lived close enough.

My next thought was to conduct seminars for businesses - but after six months of not having to wear make-up, not having to get dressed up in suits, not having to be conscious of my every move (as is the case when teaching), I couldn't bring myself to get back into that scene.

The solution that finally struck me was one of those "bleeding obvious" cases - if I didn't want to have people come to me and I didn't want to go to them, what else could I do? I could send the information to them.

I spent several months writing a series of tutorials that would help people master the intricacies of our language, so that they could confidently take on any writing tasks.

Then I registered a business name, had my tutorials printed, got myself an 1800 number, a Postage Paid address and ran a series of two-step ads in the major Saturday papers. I was building up a steady stream of customers (although nothing like the hundreds I'd fantasised about), when I discovered the Internet! Here was a way to sell to millions, not just thousands (I've always been an optimist...). As we all know, it doesn't happen that way - but it does happen eventually!

My original tutorials have since expanded into a full writing course; I've branched out into writing content for web pages, press releases and award submissions for clients; into editing and proof reading and writing journal articles and newsletters. My articles on writing have appeared in numerous ezines and are archived on sites throughout the web.

As a result of this recognition, I've written for clients around the world - I have a wonderfully diverse range of work, writing press releases for business sites; preparing advertising material for autoresponders; ghost-writing articles for an introduction agency; proof-reading submissions for entrance to Ph D programs at universities; proof-reading course papers; editing entire websites; rewording the content of sites that have been translated into English and editing short stories for writers preparing to submit their work.

I have clients from within Australia and New Zealand; throughout the US and Canada; from the UK and from Iran, France, Switzerland, Zimbabwe and all parts in between. The Internet has made it possible for me to work quickly and easily with all these people - a highly satisfying aspect of the job!

I've had my own website since 1998 (Write101.com) and have noticed that my business has steadily improved over time. High listings in the search engines (accomplished, I'm proud to say with no underhanded tricks and all by myself) have all helped bring visitors to my site.

My initial efforts make me cringe with embarrassment now (read my article The Saga of the alt tags ), but they were all part of learning how to manage this wonderful new medium of communication.

I've found that the best way to deal with people from such a diverse range of backgrounds, is to treat them exactly the same as I treat everyone else I meet. I don't try to be someone I'm not even though the temptation is there to pretend that I have a huge conglomerate behind me and dozens of staff to carry out the work.

Even though I'm thousands of kilometres away from most of my clients, I maintain a personal tone in all my correspondence with them. I try to include a sentence or two about my family/ home / pets or whatever I think will interest them to let them know I'm a real person.

It just takes time to get known, to build up your own little networks and to find your niche - but it's worth it when you succeed in creating something out of nothing!

If the spelling of words like "realise" and "humour" in this article worries you, please read this: http://www.write101.com/aus.htm